PestilANTS!!!!

So I have a theory concerning the ants residing around the area of my apartment complex. I think they're actually trained in the arts of guerrilla warfare. They have clandestine, covert, and otherwise secret societies under my apartment where normal black ants are recruited and trained as Ninja warriors. A secret society of looters that supply what could be considered the Ho Chi Minh Trail of cookie crumbs. They have skillfully evaded my every attempt to destroy their kind. They eat poison and survive, and scout out Ant traps. Yes, they scout them out. I'm not crazy, I've watched an ant crawl to the entrance of a trap that would have wiped out their secret Ninja organization, a few quick passes with their highly sensitive feelers and he alerted the rest of his fellow ninja pirate Ants with his mind. HE ALERTED THEM TELEPATHICALLY. I'm not joking....the feelers went in the air and I could almost hear the caution go out "Exercise prudence concerning recent food presence, it is a trap. I repeat, THE FOOD IS POISON!!!"

I smell a plot! I think they're planning to execute an attack that will increase their bounty from mere crumbs to the whole cookie jars. Our pies and pastries are no longer safe! With such intricate training, what is man to do? I fear for the safety of my family, and that of my neighbors. What about Caelen, the two year old next door? Just this morning I intercepted plans for an all out assault! An attack, during which, the poor toddler will be abducted and brainwashed to think like them! From that point hence he will be spotted breaking into homes with a mass of ants trailing along behind him. With such enormous stores of food and the ability to enter homes with impunity I fear that a race of atomic super ants (such as the one pictured above) will be soon within their grasp. The armies of the world will have to join together to fight them off like an H.G Wells novel. What bleak times lie in our future. Only God can save us now!

Here's to you Mr. Robertson..Jesus loves you more than you must know.

I'm writing this because, disturbed as I was by Robertson's comments regarding the recent tragedy in Haiti, I am even more disturbed by the hostile response of many evangelical Christians. At some point we have have to recognize that Robertson's statement has absolutely no grounding in the Bible, and that he doesn't even reflect the majority of Christian opinion in America.

If our witness as a church is set so far back because of one man's poor tact in the face of tragedy, well then, I'm afraid our witness has been too weak to begin with. If somehow, in the ears of those who don't believe in Jesus, Robertson's statement seems to speak for all of us. Then it's only because we haven't spoken for ourselves enough. You see, our silence has made his voice louder.

Ironically, while we sit around and gnash our teeth over his statement over our specialty coffee drinks; Robertson's charity organization is headed to Haiti, or even digging through the rubble already.

Remember this, salvation is a spiritual thing, not a media driven popularity contest. Neither God's efficacy or power to save are deterred or lessened by Pat Robertson's media blunders. The church ought to challenge and exhort Robertson gently because it's God's kindness leads us to repentance. A man that has said so many weird things will have a lot to grieve over when his time comes. Lashing out at him now is a lot like whipping a starving person when he tries to steal bread. It's a mean and empty form of justice.

Late Night Reading

So, when I have a hard time sleeping I tend to get up and read news articles in the desperate hope that some bad journalist will lull my brain into a foggy stupor. Most people read the news and get stressed out, I read the news and both my brain and soul tend to go a little numb. Unless of course, it's news of a "fresh off the presses" Smashing Pumpkins song on their website. Seriously, they make their music available for free download on Smashing Pumpkins.com. Does it sound too good to be true? Yes, but thankfully it's still true in this case. Anyway after taking some Valerian root (those are sleeping pills for hippies...I'm in Oregon, give me a break) I get online and I run into this article. Go read it, then come back because I've got something to say.

Okay here's the deal, we all hate security lines in airports, and quite frankly the idea of a room full of security guards pouring over camera monitors creeps me out. But, I appreciate their efforts as I can still remember turning my t.v on just in time to say a plane crash into a freakin sky scraper. Is it weird that security guards still check this poor kid at airports? No, not really...maybe an addendum on the selectee list saying something like "By the way, the 8 yr old boy scout is clean" would be helpful, but that's one of the prices you pay for wanting to be discrete. Speaking of discretion in matters of security...I say boo! We could learn from India on that point. They put fully armed military personnel in Airport security. We're not talking glocks and a nightstick here. We're talking machine guns and body armor. It's an impressive thing to see.

We all get uppity when we hear about one person getting frisked "unnecessarily", but you have to remember that certain groups apparently like using commercial airliners as weapons. So, maybe give the TSA guy a break, he's just trying to keep you safe while the flight attendants overcharge you for you coca-cola. After all, the last time airport security decided to be nice to a guy it probably really ruined the trip for the Dutch man that had to tackle him before he set off a bomb in his underwear.

Regarding Christmas and Coming Hope

So this year I've taken it upon myself to use the Christmas season to present the Gospel as it appears in the Bible. I don't intend for this post to be a public discussion, but more of a chance for personal examination. I'm not out to prove anything or argue the scientific feasibility of miracles. I don't care about Creationism or Evolution or any other sort of social issue at hand between Christianity and the rest of the world. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns that you would like answered feel free to send me a message and I will take the time to answer it to the best of my ability (because I have lots of time.....maybe not so much ability). I'm not looking for anything from anybody in posting this, I'm more trying to inaugurate a personal tradition (which means you can expect this every year), because it seems like Christmas involves everything except the in depth presentation of what traditional Christianity holds to be true regarding the birth of Jesus.

~Regarding Sin and our Need of Rescue.~

Most of us know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. So I'm just going to highlight the fall of man here for the purpose of making this all relevant. An important, and often missed, detail concerns the fruit that Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan to eat. Was the fruit important? Probably, but we can gain more significance from the act of eating. Looking at the dialog between Adam, Eve, and the serpent we see that Adam and Eve, though tempted, made an active decision to disobey God (Genesis 3). It's true that they were tempted, and they couldn't so much control what was being said to them, but they intellectually submitted their personal authority to the idea that was presented to them. Adam and Eve, having received the information about the fruit, evaluated it and decided to go with the Serpent. Now the fruit of the tree was the knowledge of good and evil. This is important because God had plans for Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had the opportunity to learn this concept from God himself, but they chose to understand it in their own limited capacity.

So that was Adam, and Eve...what about me? For the most part, we're all making our own decisions in the same exact way that they did. Filtering our own input of information, and relying on our own interpretation of world events. We're exactly the same as Adam and Eve. But we're not just victims of an inherited condition (even though it is inherited in a way), we actively ignore outside input and rely on our own capabilities. Christian and non-Christian alike. This is the essence of sin. Now when talking about sin we could easily get on a moral superiority kick, and I really don't want that to happen. Morality is a human response to a deep seated, and spiritual problem. Sin isn't just lying, or stealing. It's the feeling of shame, the concept of failure and guilt. It's the root of fear and helplessness. Sin is the chain that holds you down. We address these things on a solely moral level because we feel like it gives us power but it really does nothing. It's just like Adam and Eve covering their nakedness with leaves, and hiding from God. Do the leaves adequately cover their nakedness, or address the guilt that they felt? Did hiding provide them any sort of comfort? No, the guilt of their nakedness remained (leaves or no leaves), and even though they hid in shame they were found out, revealed. You could say that morality, for the most part, is a sinful way of responding to sin. Here's what I mean: The whole concept of morality is like putting a band-aid on a severed limb. Not nearly enough to staunch the flow of blood. In addition to the band-aid/dismemberment illustration imagine that you're traveling somewhere and need to climb a ledge get a better vantage point to see the road ahead. But the ledge is too high and the rock surface surrounding it gives no hand hold. So you just stand there, grab a fist full of hair and try to pull yourself up. We are, all of us, trying to do that very thing, pull ourselves up by our own hair. You can take a moment and see the issues in your life where you try to do this, be it your struggling marriage, some sort of addiction, some primal and crippling fear, depression and anxiety. In all these things humanity is helpless, because no man can make it to that ledge on his own. We're all a bunch of gory one armed people pulling out our own hair. Even if we looked to the needs of each other, would couldn't possibly address them. We need somebody that can preform surgery for the missing limb, and stretch a hand down to help us up. But looking around we just see a bunch of armless and hairless people struggling in the same way we are. God's incarnation in Jesus Christ presents us with that surgeon, and is the hand stretching down from the ledge.

Jesus and the Incarnation

What we have in Jesus is the perfect remedy for our existing situation. His presence in the world is akin to a military medic wading through our dismemberment to heal and dress our wounds. Those things that we are afraid, and ashamed of. Those hopeless failures in our lives, the racking guilt of past decisions. These are the present concerns of Jesus. The important and central truth in Christianity is that God, in his fullness, became a man. That he might walk through our world with us, being subject just like we are to hunger, sadness, grief, and anxiety; yet at the same time possessing in himself an ultimate, divine solution. He is the only man on that ledge. In order for mankind to be free from our own morality, for us to stop trying to pull ourselves up by our own hair God himself became one of us, that he would be a new kind of Adam. A man that depended solely upon divine input for his life. It all comes down to the matter of birth, death and rebirth (or resurrection). God became Man so that man would be recreated. The only way for us to be free from this world is death. Jesus came that he might die for us, and being the only one who has been truly obedient, his death is the only thing that can reverse the death we have through Adam (and ourselves). Which is the death of failure, and shame. Through his sacrifice on the cross he not only dresses our wounds, but replaces what was missing, and in his resurrection he stands on the ledge, not to pull us up, but from there to guide us through the remainder of our lives. To replace our input with his, which is in effect to free us from our own personal tyranny and helpless effort. The rest of life as a Christian then consists of living in the presence of spiritually replaced values, and convictions. It is to live in the world as if we were not living in it at all. To depend on God's miraculous input above all else. We believe that Jesus will return and when that happens, our sources of input will become permanent.

Merry Christmas

~For to us a child has been born~

(Isaiah. 9:6)

Life as Art - A letter to my readers.

Hi All,

So you have no doubt noticed that I do not write with great frequency these days, and it's not that I am lacking any sort of peace of mind or inner stillness or anything like that, but more that I seem to have reached the end of my skills as they exist naturally within my person. Don't worry, I'm far from putting down my pen, but I am a ways off from learning how to better use it. I'm currently using my energy to find a job that will satisfy my wants from employment, and trying to track down college folk to find out the best course to pursue my education. Right now it's looking like a tie between Ph.D's in Creative Writing, or American and British Literary Modernism. Who knows...maybe I'll get both. In the meantime I am helping a local writer by editing his screenplay. I am rather stalled out on both of my pieces so I figure helping somebody else succeed might be a good way to channel my desire to be artistically involved and keep my chops up (so to speak).

Now, here is the point that I've been wanting to convey to all of you (whomever you may be) for some time now, but somehow lacked the words to voice it. In light of my writer's block I have struggled to put words to paper, or come up with music of my own which only served to bring me to this conclusion. Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Look at writers like Woody Allen, or songwriters like Damien Rice. Sure, they still create something; but it's always some jangle of broken ideals and neurotic views on sexual conquest. As if the world needs more of that somehow. Don't read too much into what I'm saying here, I think that Woody Allen and Damian Rice are both very talented artists...I just don't prefer their basic level of material. I trust that both of them occasionally rise above their base levels, but the mob prefers their more crude materials. Then again, I could be wrong. All in all; I feel a great swell of pity for the artists that are trapped in their development by their fans. We fans do a great deal of abuse in that way. But I digress, so I'll just jump right back on track here.

What I've come to in the lack of creative inspiration is a proper view of my own life as being a piece of art. But crafted and wielded by a far worthier Hand. This isn't to say that everything I do is beautiful, or even good and admirable. But more that even the things that come out of me that look ugly are being blended and incorporated into something far greater and more beautiful than I could ever fathom. So rather than capturing these things with a mind and a voice that needs honing, I am content to be a part in what God is doing in the world. I am more content to be a part of that. It's a lot like playing music without recording it. The sound is vibrant and full of life in the present, and then it's gone. I rather prefer things that way right now because, for the time being, to try and hammer them into words would do them injustice. This way I can look on a fonder memory of past beauty as it grows and is distilled by present circumstance. One day (and soon I should hope) I will put all into words, music, or photographs. But for now I'd rather experience the true art.

Of course every once in a while, the bubble will rise in my soul and I will write it down for you, but it may not be often.

Thanks for reading!

~Matticus

May My Insomnia Be Your Blessing

Winds blow,
fates change,
and life continues in endless strain:
the slow march from birth to eternity.

Life!
bursting forth from dawn to dawn
with new stories yet to be told.
Awaited by slumbering ears.

Moving~by Matt Allhands

Devotional Dilemma

So I volunteered to deliver a devotional at this weeks men's prayer breakfast, and I realized that there is a slight problem. My devotional life sucks. It all came to me at once, but I realized that things haven't been quite the same since I came out to Montana 5 years ago. It's as if I've overused, or hyper-extended my external spiritual expressions to the point where I can't put weight on the sprain. Of course this isn't to say that I don't feel close to the Lord or anything else ridiculous like that, but I really just wanted to take the opportunity to pursue the notion of a sprained spiritual expression for the sake of those who may feel the same way from time to time. I've come to notice in the past few months that my Christianity, or my relationship with Jesus has taken an interesting shape over the past year. I see things in a different way than I ever would have anticipated. Definitely not going to be made into a precious moments figurine any time soon. I play my cards pretty close to my chest because I spent the majority of my time with people who: A: Don't understand the things of God. or B: Hate and deride any form of religious sentiment. What's interesting about it is that it has been really good for me. My lack of devotional zeal, and fatigue from work in a "Godless environment" have taken me back down to the cold hard basement of my faith. The concrete, and unalterable truths that, though I'd rather not pursue most of the time, chill my feet with an inescapably solid assurance of a real presence that I'll experience more of later. So, if you're in the same boat, I would exhort you to enjoy your time in the cut and dry period. Life (that is to say, Christ) will eventually lead you and I to far greener pastures, but until then I think it's better to dwell in a harsh reality than a fluffy lie.