PestilANTS!!!!

So I have a theory concerning the ants residing around the area of my apartment complex. I think they're actually trained in the arts of guerrilla warfare. They have clandestine, covert, and otherwise secret societies under my apartment where normal black ants are recruited and trained as Ninja warriors. A secret society of looters that supply what could be considered the Ho Chi Minh Trail of cookie crumbs. They have skillfully evaded my every attempt to destroy their kind. They eat poison and survive, and scout out Ant traps. Yes, they scout them out. I'm not crazy, I've watched an ant crawl to the entrance of a trap that would have wiped out their secret Ninja organization, a few quick passes with their highly sensitive feelers and he alerted the rest of his fellow ninja pirate Ants with his mind. HE ALERTED THEM TELEPATHICALLY. I'm not joking....the feelers went in the air and I could almost hear the caution go out "Exercise prudence concerning recent food presence, it is a trap. I repeat, THE FOOD IS POISON!!!"

I smell a plot! I think they're planning to execute an attack that will increase their bounty from mere crumbs to the whole cookie jars. Our pies and pastries are no longer safe! With such intricate training, what is man to do? I fear for the safety of my family, and that of my neighbors. What about Caelen, the two year old next door? Just this morning I intercepted plans for an all out assault! An attack, during which, the poor toddler will be abducted and brainwashed to think like them! From that point hence he will be spotted breaking into homes with a mass of ants trailing along behind him. With such enormous stores of food and the ability to enter homes with impunity I fear that a race of atomic super ants (such as the one pictured above) will be soon within their grasp. The armies of the world will have to join together to fight them off like an H.G Wells novel. What bleak times lie in our future. Only God can save us now!