Peering through dust

So, I've had a vague notion rambling about in my head for several days now. I can't say that I've thought about it directly, because....well, it's a vague notion. As I think about it, I'm not even sure what sparked my reflection, it seems to have come out of the blue. But maybe I'm just saying that because it is officially a new year, and I'm trying desperately to avoid the cliched New Years reflection post. Anywho, as you can tell....I've been thinking, about stuff.
  Mostly about why it is I'm trying to do what I'm trying to do. College, Ministry....seminary, and so on. I've started coming to a conclusion today and honestly I have a hard time picturing myself responding to my salvation differently. Although catholic school, half-hearted youth group participation, and several friends most definitely contributed to a foundation of understanding, I can't honestly point north, west, east or south and say with confidence "My belief came from there". I even believe differently now than I did then (I hope my belief is more informed). I just remember sitting on my bed, and bam.....out of nowhere I became a Christian. I didn't even know what that meant at the time, I just suspected it's truth.
    The greatest things in my life; my faith, my marriage, my current job, and my daughter have all been unbidden intrusions into what I thought I wanted. I endeavor to make a career out of ministry because I can't reconcile how I was saved with doing anything else.  I have received everything in such a way that it all calls me out to work towards it after it's been given to me.
     But more than that, I am who I am. Not in the sense that I wont ever change, or can't step away from vocational ministry for practical reasons, but I shudder when I imagine having to do that...not out of fear, but what could be grief.

A Random Sleepless Notion

Yup, it's one of those nights...hot, and sleepless. So as I sit here peering over the vast sea of code that is the internet I figured I'd at least be constructive. We've been preaching through the book of Ecclesiastes (my favorite book of the Bible) at Cascade, and it's harrowing application has got me thinking. We tend to equate worldly success with God's favor, what I mean is that we find ultimate blessing when good things happen to us. Do we find those blessings in the hard times? I want to say that I do, but I'd probably be lying. I don't want people to think that I'm somehow against seeing the handiwork of God in our lives, but I do want to point out that the same hand that gives also, sometimes, takes away. I think the challenge is to rejoice in Him, during both plenty and want, and understanding that whether he provides or removes it is to kill our sin, and deliver us to Glory. With that in mind, if it's a season of plenty....be generous;  if it's a season of "want" take heart that God is good, and be generous as well.

Saved From What?

So, I've been thinking about the practical application of God's saving grace lately. The sanctifying part of it at least, and in talking to some friends and hearing about their lives I've come to some conclusions. As Christians we tend to be hostile to our surroundings. We look at the world around us and see all the evil and problems as partially responsible for our actions. The cause, and causality of sin and society does have a strong relationship, but not in the way that we think. Think about this for a bit, we often view our sinful heart as a reaction to society and circumstances. But, I think that the shoes is on the other foot. Our circumstances, and those of society at large are a collective result of our sinful hearts. As we fall into this line of thinking it incapacitates our ability to honestly repent, and allows us to avoid the light of the Gospel illuminating our sin. Repentance is a mute point when somebody else is really responsible.
I don't think God's salvation necessarily saves us from our circumstances. But that God's salvation allows circumstances to effect us so He can save us from our deceitful hearts.

Beholding Infinity

Here's something to chew on. God is the only being who exists in a state of rest; while the rest of us crash like waves onto the rocky face of his nature. Such as this is we, as human beings, are subject to the tyranny of the now. We think of our current position is a sort of ultimate, even though our position will be changed as soon as thirty seconds from now. Such as it is, "then" will be "now" and "now" will be dead. If what seems to be ultimate is actually shifting, can it be considered ultimate?

In the midst of what seems to be the freewheeling whirl of time and space God (being the entity at rest) holds "now" in his hands. Not only now, but also what could have been now five minutes ago had I chosen an americano instead of a latte. Interestingly enough, he has ordained things so that our "now" is part of his ultimate plan. What I mean is that, through our choices and decisions we live in the revelation of God's will. Like a constant unveiling. So, when we choose something, for good or for bad, we eliminate all possibilities for contingent reality. Or rather, God eliminates them through us. So that where we are will always be where he wanted us; though we may try to rebel against it, we will always end up there and we are forced to reckon with the hard fact that it never would have, nor ever could be different.

Because only an entity at rest, can dominate one in motion.

PestilANTS!!!!

So I have a theory concerning the ants residing around the area of my apartment complex. I think they're actually trained in the arts of guerrilla warfare. They have clandestine, covert, and otherwise secret societies under my apartment where normal black ants are recruited and trained as Ninja warriors. A secret society of looters that supply what could be considered the Ho Chi Minh Trail of cookie crumbs. They have skillfully evaded my every attempt to destroy their kind. They eat poison and survive, and scout out Ant traps. Yes, they scout them out. I'm not crazy, I've watched an ant crawl to the entrance of a trap that would have wiped out their secret Ninja organization, a few quick passes with their highly sensitive feelers and he alerted the rest of his fellow ninja pirate Ants with his mind. HE ALERTED THEM TELEPATHICALLY. I'm not joking....the feelers went in the air and I could almost hear the caution go out "Exercise prudence concerning recent food presence, it is a trap. I repeat, THE FOOD IS POISON!!!"

I smell a plot! I think they're planning to execute an attack that will increase their bounty from mere crumbs to the whole cookie jars. Our pies and pastries are no longer safe! With such intricate training, what is man to do? I fear for the safety of my family, and that of my neighbors. What about Caelen, the two year old next door? Just this morning I intercepted plans for an all out assault! An attack, during which, the poor toddler will be abducted and brainwashed to think like them! From that point hence he will be spotted breaking into homes with a mass of ants trailing along behind him. With such enormous stores of food and the ability to enter homes with impunity I fear that a race of atomic super ants (such as the one pictured above) will be soon within their grasp. The armies of the world will have to join together to fight them off like an H.G Wells novel. What bleak times lie in our future. Only God can save us now!

Here's to you Mr. Robertson..Jesus loves you more than you must know.

I'm writing this because, disturbed as I was by Robertson's comments regarding the recent tragedy in Haiti, I am even more disturbed by the hostile response of many evangelical Christians. At some point we have have to recognize that Robertson's statement has absolutely no grounding in the Bible, and that he doesn't even reflect the majority of Christian opinion in America.

If our witness as a church is set so far back because of one man's poor tact in the face of tragedy, well then, I'm afraid our witness has been too weak to begin with. If somehow, in the ears of those who don't believe in Jesus, Robertson's statement seems to speak for all of us. Then it's only because we haven't spoken for ourselves enough. You see, our silence has made his voice louder.

Ironically, while we sit around and gnash our teeth over his statement over our specialty coffee drinks; Robertson's charity organization is headed to Haiti, or even digging through the rubble already.

Remember this, salvation is a spiritual thing, not a media driven popularity contest. Neither God's efficacy or power to save are deterred or lessened by Pat Robertson's media blunders. The church ought to challenge and exhort Robertson gently because it's God's kindness leads us to repentance. A man that has said so many weird things will have a lot to grieve over when his time comes. Lashing out at him now is a lot like whipping a starving person when he tries to steal bread. It's a mean and empty form of justice.

Late Night Reading

So, when I have a hard time sleeping I tend to get up and read news articles in the desperate hope that some bad journalist will lull my brain into a foggy stupor. Most people read the news and get stressed out, I read the news and both my brain and soul tend to go a little numb. Unless of course, it's news of a "fresh off the presses" Smashing Pumpkins song on their website. Seriously, they make their music available for free download on Smashing Pumpkins.com. Does it sound too good to be true? Yes, but thankfully it's still true in this case. Anyway after taking some Valerian root (those are sleeping pills for hippies...I'm in Oregon, give me a break) I get online and I run into this article. Go read it, then come back because I've got something to say.

Okay here's the deal, we all hate security lines in airports, and quite frankly the idea of a room full of security guards pouring over camera monitors creeps me out. But, I appreciate their efforts as I can still remember turning my t.v on just in time to say a plane crash into a freakin sky scraper. Is it weird that security guards still check this poor kid at airports? No, not really...maybe an addendum on the selectee list saying something like "By the way, the 8 yr old boy scout is clean" would be helpful, but that's one of the prices you pay for wanting to be discrete. Speaking of discretion in matters of security...I say boo! We could learn from India on that point. They put fully armed military personnel in Airport security. We're not talking glocks and a nightstick here. We're talking machine guns and body armor. It's an impressive thing to see.

We all get uppity when we hear about one person getting frisked "unnecessarily", but you have to remember that certain groups apparently like using commercial airliners as weapons. So, maybe give the TSA guy a break, he's just trying to keep you safe while the flight attendants overcharge you for you coca-cola. After all, the last time airport security decided to be nice to a guy it probably really ruined the trip for the Dutch man that had to tackle him before he set off a bomb in his underwear.

Regarding Christmas and Coming Hope

So this year I've taken it upon myself to use the Christmas season to present the Gospel as it appears in the Bible. I don't intend for this post to be a public discussion, but more of a chance for personal examination. I'm not out to prove anything or argue the scientific feasibility of miracles. I don't care about Creationism or Evolution or any other sort of social issue at hand between Christianity and the rest of the world. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns that you would like answered feel free to send me a message and I will take the time to answer it to the best of my ability (because I have lots of time.....maybe not so much ability). I'm not looking for anything from anybody in posting this, I'm more trying to inaugurate a personal tradition (which means you can expect this every year), because it seems like Christmas involves everything except the in depth presentation of what traditional Christianity holds to be true regarding the birth of Jesus.

~Regarding Sin and our Need of Rescue.~

Most of us know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. So I'm just going to highlight the fall of man here for the purpose of making this all relevant. An important, and often missed, detail concerns the fruit that Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan to eat. Was the fruit important? Probably, but we can gain more significance from the act of eating. Looking at the dialog between Adam, Eve, and the serpent we see that Adam and Eve, though tempted, made an active decision to disobey God (Genesis 3). It's true that they were tempted, and they couldn't so much control what was being said to them, but they intellectually submitted their personal authority to the idea that was presented to them. Adam and Eve, having received the information about the fruit, evaluated it and decided to go with the Serpent. Now the fruit of the tree was the knowledge of good and evil. This is important because God had plans for Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had the opportunity to learn this concept from God himself, but they chose to understand it in their own limited capacity.

So that was Adam, and Eve...what about me? For the most part, we're all making our own decisions in the same exact way that they did. Filtering our own input of information, and relying on our own interpretation of world events. We're exactly the same as Adam and Eve. But we're not just victims of an inherited condition (even though it is inherited in a way), we actively ignore outside input and rely on our own capabilities. Christian and non-Christian alike. This is the essence of sin. Now when talking about sin we could easily get on a moral superiority kick, and I really don't want that to happen. Morality is a human response to a deep seated, and spiritual problem. Sin isn't just lying, or stealing. It's the feeling of shame, the concept of failure and guilt. It's the root of fear and helplessness. Sin is the chain that holds you down. We address these things on a solely moral level because we feel like it gives us power but it really does nothing. It's just like Adam and Eve covering their nakedness with leaves, and hiding from God. Do the leaves adequately cover their nakedness, or address the guilt that they felt? Did hiding provide them any sort of comfort? No, the guilt of their nakedness remained (leaves or no leaves), and even though they hid in shame they were found out, revealed. You could say that morality, for the most part, is a sinful way of responding to sin. Here's what I mean: The whole concept of morality is like putting a band-aid on a severed limb. Not nearly enough to staunch the flow of blood. In addition to the band-aid/dismemberment illustration imagine that you're traveling somewhere and need to climb a ledge get a better vantage point to see the road ahead. But the ledge is too high and the rock surface surrounding it gives no hand hold. So you just stand there, grab a fist full of hair and try to pull yourself up. We are, all of us, trying to do that very thing, pull ourselves up by our own hair. You can take a moment and see the issues in your life where you try to do this, be it your struggling marriage, some sort of addiction, some primal and crippling fear, depression and anxiety. In all these things humanity is helpless, because no man can make it to that ledge on his own. We're all a bunch of gory one armed people pulling out our own hair. Even if we looked to the needs of each other, would couldn't possibly address them. We need somebody that can preform surgery for the missing limb, and stretch a hand down to help us up. But looking around we just see a bunch of armless and hairless people struggling in the same way we are. God's incarnation in Jesus Christ presents us with that surgeon, and is the hand stretching down from the ledge.

Jesus and the Incarnation

What we have in Jesus is the perfect remedy for our existing situation. His presence in the world is akin to a military medic wading through our dismemberment to heal and dress our wounds. Those things that we are afraid, and ashamed of. Those hopeless failures in our lives, the racking guilt of past decisions. These are the present concerns of Jesus. The important and central truth in Christianity is that God, in his fullness, became a man. That he might walk through our world with us, being subject just like we are to hunger, sadness, grief, and anxiety; yet at the same time possessing in himself an ultimate, divine solution. He is the only man on that ledge. In order for mankind to be free from our own morality, for us to stop trying to pull ourselves up by our own hair God himself became one of us, that he would be a new kind of Adam. A man that depended solely upon divine input for his life. It all comes down to the matter of birth, death and rebirth (or resurrection). God became Man so that man would be recreated. The only way for us to be free from this world is death. Jesus came that he might die for us, and being the only one who has been truly obedient, his death is the only thing that can reverse the death we have through Adam (and ourselves). Which is the death of failure, and shame. Through his sacrifice on the cross he not only dresses our wounds, but replaces what was missing, and in his resurrection he stands on the ledge, not to pull us up, but from there to guide us through the remainder of our lives. To replace our input with his, which is in effect to free us from our own personal tyranny and helpless effort. The rest of life as a Christian then consists of living in the presence of spiritually replaced values, and convictions. It is to live in the world as if we were not living in it at all. To depend on God's miraculous input above all else. We believe that Jesus will return and when that happens, our sources of input will become permanent.

Merry Christmas

~For to us a child has been born~

(Isaiah. 9:6)

Life as Art - A letter to my readers.

Hi All,

So you have no doubt noticed that I do not write with great frequency these days, and it's not that I am lacking any sort of peace of mind or inner stillness or anything like that, but more that I seem to have reached the end of my skills as they exist naturally within my person. Don't worry, I'm far from putting down my pen, but I am a ways off from learning how to better use it. I'm currently using my energy to find a job that will satisfy my wants from employment, and trying to track down college folk to find out the best course to pursue my education. Right now it's looking like a tie between Ph.D's in Creative Writing, or American and British Literary Modernism. Who knows...maybe I'll get both. In the meantime I am helping a local writer by editing his screenplay. I am rather stalled out on both of my pieces so I figure helping somebody else succeed might be a good way to channel my desire to be artistically involved and keep my chops up (so to speak).

Now, here is the point that I've been wanting to convey to all of you (whomever you may be) for some time now, but somehow lacked the words to voice it. In light of my writer's block I have struggled to put words to paper, or come up with music of my own which only served to bring me to this conclusion. Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Creativity is useless without inspiration.

Look at writers like Woody Allen, or songwriters like Damien Rice. Sure, they still create something; but it's always some jangle of broken ideals and neurotic views on sexual conquest. As if the world needs more of that somehow. Don't read too much into what I'm saying here, I think that Woody Allen and Damian Rice are both very talented artists...I just don't prefer their basic level of material. I trust that both of them occasionally rise above their base levels, but the mob prefers their more crude materials. Then again, I could be wrong. All in all; I feel a great swell of pity for the artists that are trapped in their development by their fans. We fans do a great deal of abuse in that way. But I digress, so I'll just jump right back on track here.

What I've come to in the lack of creative inspiration is a proper view of my own life as being a piece of art. But crafted and wielded by a far worthier Hand. This isn't to say that everything I do is beautiful, or even good and admirable. But more that even the things that come out of me that look ugly are being blended and incorporated into something far greater and more beautiful than I could ever fathom. So rather than capturing these things with a mind and a voice that needs honing, I am content to be a part in what God is doing in the world. I am more content to be a part of that. It's a lot like playing music without recording it. The sound is vibrant and full of life in the present, and then it's gone. I rather prefer things that way right now because, for the time being, to try and hammer them into words would do them injustice. This way I can look on a fonder memory of past beauty as it grows and is distilled by present circumstance. One day (and soon I should hope) I will put all into words, music, or photographs. But for now I'd rather experience the true art.

Of course every once in a while, the bubble will rise in my soul and I will write it down for you, but it may not be often.

Thanks for reading!

~Matticus

May My Insomnia Be Your Blessing

Winds blow,
fates change,
and life continues in endless strain:
the slow march from birth to eternity.

Life!
bursting forth from dawn to dawn
with new stories yet to be told.
Awaited by slumbering ears.

Moving~by Matt Allhands

Devotional Dilemma

So I volunteered to deliver a devotional at this weeks men's prayer breakfast, and I realized that there is a slight problem. My devotional life sucks. It all came to me at once, but I realized that things haven't been quite the same since I came out to Montana 5 years ago. It's as if I've overused, or hyper-extended my external spiritual expressions to the point where I can't put weight on the sprain. Of course this isn't to say that I don't feel close to the Lord or anything else ridiculous like that, but I really just wanted to take the opportunity to pursue the notion of a sprained spiritual expression for the sake of those who may feel the same way from time to time. I've come to notice in the past few months that my Christianity, or my relationship with Jesus has taken an interesting shape over the past year. I see things in a different way than I ever would have anticipated. Definitely not going to be made into a precious moments figurine any time soon. I play my cards pretty close to my chest because I spent the majority of my time with people who: A: Don't understand the things of God. or B: Hate and deride any form of religious sentiment. What's interesting about it is that it has been really good for me. My lack of devotional zeal, and fatigue from work in a "Godless environment" have taken me back down to the cold hard basement of my faith. The concrete, and unalterable truths that, though I'd rather not pursue most of the time, chill my feet with an inescapably solid assurance of a real presence that I'll experience more of later. So, if you're in the same boat, I would exhort you to enjoy your time in the cut and dry period. Life (that is to say, Christ) will eventually lead you and I to far greener pastures, but until then I think it's better to dwell in a harsh reality than a fluffy lie.

Some Thoughts

I haven't written personally in a while now, because I've been busy. I've been busy and tired. Life is quite the force to reckon with sometimes. Especially when you aren't spending your time enjoyably. That is to say, that you aren't doing something you love. But then again, I think some aspects of maturity involve being able to prioritize things well in order to get to a better situation. Children want all good things to come at the same time, and our culture is very childish on that point. Billy Corgan (lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins) said it best "Our culture is set on orgasm, and nobody is interested in the things that have led to a particular artist's greatest work, we just all want the best all the time." (that's a massive paraphrase incidentally). So before I head off to a job that I don't enjoy very much, and shut myself away from the sunshine and springtime for 7 hours.

Here's to the process!

Not the process from one job, house, or town to another. Not some social upgrade. But the process of Life. The grand winding Road that demands we follow. The Doors of opportunity that open and shut, closing whole realities behind them, and at the same time allowing other realities to blossom in all their' wonder or horror. Whatever happens, our final destination will so greatly over shadow the roads we've taken that it will seem as if it were all nothing. Shadows and dust scattered on the winds of eternity. One day, we will arrive home.

"The Trappist Cemetery-Gethsemani"

Brothers, the curving grasses and their daughers
will never print your praises:
The trees our sisters, in their summer dresses,
guard your fame in these green cradles:
The simple crosses are content to hide your characters.

Oh do not fear
the birds that bicker in the lonely belfry
will ever give away your legends.
Yet when the sun, exulting like a dying martyr,
canonizes, with his splendid fie, the sombre hills,
your graves all smile like little children,
and your wise crosses trust the mothering night
that folds them in the Sanctuary's wings.

You need not hear the momentary rumors of the road
where cities pass and vanish in a single car
filling the cut beside the mill
with roar and radio,
hurling the air into the wayside branches
leaving the leaves alive with panic.
See, the kind universe,
wheeling in love about the abbey steeple
lights up your sleepy nursery with stars.

~

God, in your bodily life,
untied the snares of anger and desire,
hid your flesh from envy by these country alters,
beneath these holy eaves where even sparrows have their houses.
But oh, how like the swallows and the chimney swifts
do your free souls in glory play!
And with cleaner flight,
keener, more graceful circles,
rarer, and finer arcs
then all these innocent attacks that skim our steeple!
How like these children of the summer evening
do your rejoicing spirits
deride the dry earth with their aviation!

But now the treble harps of night begin to play in the deep wood,
to praise your holy sleep,
and all the frogs along the creek
chant in the moony waters to the Queen of Peace.
And we, the mariners, and travelers,
the wide-eyed immigrants,
praying and sweating in our steerage cabins,
lie still and count with love the measured bells
that tell the deep-sea leagues until your harbor.

Already on this working earth you knew what nameless love
adorns the heart with peace by night,
hearing, adoring all the dark arrivals of eternity.
Oh, here on earth you knew what secret thirst
arming the mind with instinct,
answers the challenges of God with garrisons
of unified desire
and facing Him in His new wars
is slain at last in an exchange of lives.

Teach us, Cistercian Fathers, how to wear
silence, our humble armor.
Pray us a torrent of the seven spirits
that are our wine and stamina,
because your' work is not yet done.
But look: the valleys shine with promises,
every burning morning is a prophecy of Christ
coming to raise and vindicate
even our sorry flesh.

Then will your graves, Gethsemani, give up their angels,
return them to their souls to learn
the songs of attitude and glory.
Then will creation rise again like gold,
clean from the furnace of your litanies:
the beasts and trees shall share your resurrection,
and a new world be born from these green tombs.

~Thomas Merton

Simplicity

My wife and I were sitting on our porch Sunday evening, and we somehow got onto the topic of simplicity. Simplicity being something we both strive for it's not really so surprising that we would discuss it, but it was one of those spur of the moment deep conversations, and something we both have a lot to say about. I have to pause here to point out the humorous irony in having a lot to say about simplicity. Anywho, when most people think of simplicity thoughts automatically run to undecorated churches, and white washed pews. People praying throughout the day with monk-like devotion. It's a humorous perspective, but a dangerous one as well. To live simply one does not have to do away with their television, or computer, you don't have to don a monk's habit and spent the rest of your life contemplating the existential meaning of a dandelion. Nor should you attempt to withdraw from society and sit on a mountain top for the rest of your days. In the past few years I have come to realize that simplicity is found in the midst of the daily buzz of human activity.
When God created Adam he set him straight to the wonderful task of exploring Eden, and naming animals. When you think of it, naming all the animals in the world could be rather arduous, and here is where you ought to strip away the Disney-esque picture of God parading pachyderms, hippopotamuses, and giraffes in front of a giddy little boy who bounces up and down with excitement over the spectacle. Maybe Adam had to search these creatures out, and observe them prior to the naming. In any case, my point is that we as people were made to be active. Work is in our very nature. So how do we find simplicity in a world that is teeming with conflict, people, and jobs to be done? Single-mindedness might be the only way it is possible. Be singleminded in all that you do. Doubts and questions always arise to kick up dust in our minds. "Am I doing what God has called me to?' 'Is this benefitting the kingdom?' "Is the Lord pleased with my life?' These questions are always going to be answered yes and no all at the same time. Whether you are living in a tent in Africa translating the Bible to a tribal dialect, or working in an office in New York City. God is pleased with his son's imputed righteousness in your life, the sacrifice of the cross stretches through time and wraps our identity in his, and God is pleased. So don't worry so much about it, if you want to go to Africa...go to Africa. If that is where your' heart is, don't waste anymore time worrying about. Regardless of what you are doing, or where you are. Your' current location and activity is the primary concern of you, and of your sanctification. The main job in our lives as Christians falls into two catagories. Living our lives in the light of Godliness brought forth through the Gospel, and worshipping the Living God in word and deed; spirit, and truth. That is true simplicity.

Thoughts Regarding Studying the Bible

Over the last summer I decided that I wanted to be more theologically literate, so I asked three or four trusted friends/pastors and they all told me I should go through a Bible Dictionary to start with. I dove right in, and went through the Pentateuch, and kind of stalled out after that. There was a lot of stuff going on in my life (changing jobs and schedules and so forth) so it kind of fell to the background.
Well last week, I started to think about how much I had learned from those five short little articles, copying down the teaching outlines and reflecting on what I remember from the texts themselves. Compared to a seminarian or a Pastor my knowledge is pretty insignificant, but on a personal note there were many things regarding the Cross and the deity of Jesus that became crystal clear. I've picked my studies back up, and just finished Joshua yesterday. It was great to see the Israelites enter the Promised Land, and to know that even though they were finally delivered into Canaan, that there was still much to do. They still had to live out there lives as God's Chosen people, if anything, it was more difficult for them as a nation after they entered the land than it was before.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to encourage all my friends (Christian and non-Christian alike) to really read and think about the Bible. I know sometimes it's hard to pick it up and just read it, we all have things to do during our day. But what better occupation is there than to dwell on the Grace and sovereignty of God? Sometimes study seems like striving, like some sort of inorganic chore or task, and for most of us we struggle against things that don't feel "natural". But I think God would remind us all that what is natural to us is sin. That is to say that we are used to living our lives as if He weren't there. We might all do better with a little striving now and then. After all, the pursuit of God is active.

Musing

Over the past few weeks I've begun to grasp what it is to be a creation. That is to say that I have come to understand my finite-ness in a very different way. Rather than being frustrated by my lack of output (strictly in an artistic sense), I've been learning to appreciate the fact that, regardless of what I create, I am part of a greater story. It's as if I'm one strand being woven through a greater work, and what I might be tempted to call a loose end will one day wind it's way to a fitting destination. And, because of that wondrous notion (that I am a mere character questioning my author) I can look back on the recently past years of my life and find some sort of peace with them.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
stand in the desert...Near them, on the sand,
half shrunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
and wrinkled lip, a sneer of cold command,
tell that it's sculptor well those passions read
which yet survived, stamped on these lifeless things,
the hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
the lone level sands stretch far away.
Ozymandias ~P.B Shelley

Why I Refuse To Vote

Just a few years ago Americans would have to wait another two weeks to rush to their polls and cast their vote for the Presidential candidate of their choosing. Voting is one of the major patriotic means of expression for Americans, or should I say it used to be. With the election coming up and the storm of media pushed campaigning it's hard to say who we're actually voting for. That is to say, that it's hard to see where each candidate actually stands on the issues facing the American people. After considerate (although not extensive) review I have decided not to vote in this upcoming election. I am not meaning to be lazy about the future of our country nor am I uninterested in the election. I am frustrated in most areas surrounding this years campaign, and in a few I am just plain angry. In this short article I intend to cover the areas that support why I am protesting the upcoming election, and I hope to show the integrity of my position as well.
First of all, lets talk about the candidates. Barak Obama and John McCain have been on the trail for quite some time now and their are reasons that I cannot align myself with either of their political views. Obama stands boldly in the women's right to choose, and fails (even as a Senator) to uphold the Constitutional Rights of the unborn populace of America. In the preamble the Bill of Rights plainly states that it is the Government's job to insure Live, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness to it's citizens. Seems like abortion in that case is a breach of the Constitution in a very major area. Is it not the government's responsibility to preserve life, even unborn life, for it's citizens? The answer should be yes. Do I have a religious standing on this position as well? Absolutely, but for the sake of brevity I wont go into them. Although I don't thinkI need another reason for my lack of support for Obama's presidency I do have some more. He's only been a Senator for two years, one of those years being spent on his campaign. As a candidate for President in a time that calls for a strong, experienced leader Obama simply doesn't really fit the bill. Not to mention the increase of federal power that the Democratic party feels is necessary or a President to rule the nation. Make no doubt about, increased Presidential power will eventually lead to tyranny over the American people. This is seen most evidentally in the appointment of Supreme Court judges over the past few decades. Aside from that, Obama believes that it is the Government's right to redistribute the wealth of the American population from those who have to those who don't. Although Obama plans to redistribute wealth, he also plans to tax more independant business owners, who although they may have extenuating circumstances, will have to pay more if they net more than a certain amount of money per year. Seeing as how the income tax is a historically new circumstance for Americans, and a disagreeable on at that. I cannot, in good conscience, support his Presidency. Because he does not uphold the Constitution, plans to meddle in small American industry, and displays a lack of experience in the world of domestic politics as well as global politics he is simply not qualified for the role of Commander and Chief.
Now on to McCain, McCain seems to contradict Obama's lack of experience and failure to honor the Constitution at almost every turn. And yet I still can't preserve my integrity as an American citizen and vote for him at the same time. My reasons for this are a bit more subtle, and more personal in this matter so please bear with me. First and foremost, for the past few weeks I have heard little discussion of policy and more mud smearing and name calling from McCain's campaign. Rather than clearly presenting their campaign stances on economic, and foreign policy issues the McCain/Palin campaign has focused on making Obama look bad. Now in addition to political experience being a prerequisite for the Presidential office, I consider a display of strong character to be paramount. Sure he stands against Roe vs. Wade, and is vocal on the rights for the infant population of America, but he does so in a way that is unproffessional and downright childish. In my mind a Presidential candidate should voice his policy boldly, and let the chips fall where they may. There should be no participation in media driven name calling and sound byte manipulation. There is almost no way of telling what any of these candidates have actually said in context because of the politically driven media coverage of the election. I say in context, because context is a very important thing. A statement made by a person is a very powerful thing, and we deserve to hear the full story. Each candidate should be represented in fullness by media coverage, and I would go as far to say that any sort of "creative editing" of political campaign material ought to be a federal offense. In addition to all of these things McCain has failed to address the recent economic issues facing America in the way that I think a strong leader should. Simply but, big businesses who take ought outrageous loans and fail to pay them ought to be shouldered with the consequences of that failure. Because we're the ones who really pay for it. Please consider the Republican means of dealing with big business....tax breaks, tax breaks for everything. What these businesses do in turn is take their sweet tax breaks and start pactices overseas, which robs the American people of money, and removes credit and capitol from the country. How do you think the recession started in the first place? America doesn't need a jump start anymore, we need to revive American domestic industry and start exporting goods rather than importing them. American companies need to operate in America, and I don't see that happening under a Republican candidate who is funded by companies that are taking money from American banks and investing them in foreign markets.

Now for my religious reasons:

Being a Christian in America means a lot of things to a lot of people. Sadly a lot of those things have little or nothing to do with Jesus Christ, or my life lived out as his disciple. To put it plainly we have allowed ourselves to become caricatures of what could be a very real and vital expression of faith in our country. Sidelined by issues of abortion and same sex union the church by and large has become distracted from the core issues of the Gospel and our lives as Christians. These things seem to come into focus dramatically whenever a political discussion lands on the table. As Christians it seems that we are almost expected to vote Republican every time the opportunity presents itself simply because we are stuck in the mud of a cultural war. This cultural war began some twenty to thirty years ago with the Moral Majority movement and still limps on today in most modern evangelical churches. We, as Christians, are by and large called to vote Republican on the issue of moral legislation, and in focusing on that we have failed to disciple the American population. Mere legislation does not support, encourage, or cause the cultural transformation that America so desparately needs. It simply puts a band aid on it and marginalizes those who do not agree. Marginalization is not a part of the Gospel, nor is political involvement. Voting is not evangelism, and therefore is not enough to preserve the society in which we live. For that transformation to take place the church in America needs to repent, and return to a Biblical worldview. In short, Christianity needs to get out of the voting boothes, turn off the O'Reilly Factor and get outside it's churches and bookstores, and into the world that needs it's influence.
Now here is where I get angry. Most savvy political candidates are keen on the evangelicals loud cry for more morally responsible legislation, and rather than treating us as we are we have been pigeonholed and turned into a demographic. I'm sure you all remember the faith issue of Bush vs. Kerry in the last election. Both candidates were eager to look spiritual for the American people, not in order to show their true colors, but more to appeal to a cultural demographic of Christianity. Jesus needs not to be patronized by a Presidential candidate, nor does Christianity need to be in the White House for it to be successful in fulfilling the Great Commision. Quite on the contrary, we are a body of people who have spread the Gospel most effectively through persecution and bold testimony. We as a national body of believers need to understand that the Gospel needs no President to support it, nor do we need a body of laws to make America seem more Holy. It either is or it isn't, Christianity and Democracy are two completely separate entities, and as followers of Jesus we should cry foul when the Lord is used as a means of advertisement. And that, more than any other reason is why I will not be an active participant in this upcoming election. I will not be patronized, and I will not tolerate the Gospel to become a matter of law that denies civic rights to those who disagree with us. We are not an Imperial faith, we are a vital faith, and as such, should accept no imitations of our holy faith. As a Christian I will humbly submit to whomever wins the Presidency, and will follow every law as long as it does not contradict that of the Bible.

All that being said, I demand that everybody thinks for themselves, and if you disagree with me, feel free to voice that here , or simply to disagree. Whatever you do, do it that God may be more glorified in the world. Thank you for your attention, and I hope that this may be of benefit to you.

~Matt

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority before all time now and forever. Amen" Jude 24-25

Sojourning

Sometimes life takes you places that you don't want to go, and away from the company that you'd rather keep. Looking back on my travels I can see the truth in that, and to some extent it grieves my heart to know that the friends I've had and left behind I might never have again until Eternity. Even this last move, that was only 15 miles down the road from where I was, I now start to miss things about the place I've just left. The fellowship and common purpose that is, not the mess. But I guess that's the thing about life is that, at times, it seems kind of aimless and meandering. In these times it's easy to feel the dissonance of experience and faith. The lack of resolution that comes from the perpetually unanswered question of why. But I wonder what it is that is in us that expects anything better than cosmic silence. What it is that demands that we have stability now, in a world that's turbulent because of our lack of righteousness. That's one of the greatest things about Christianity, the fact that God isn't afraid to let us feel the weight of time, and the burden of experiencing life outside of eternity. He isn't afraid to let us deal with what we've done, and at the same time he promises eternity to those of us who are willing to fight our unbelief for his sake, and sojourn through this life on his terms, even when his terms seem to do us more harm than good. I see through a dirty glass, and even the unclear image of Heaven is overwhelming to me, and the desire for it is, maybe, more intense because I know that were it not for God's purposes I would not be here. But I can always look forward to the moment when my life here will seem like a shadow passing, and I feel the freedom that my heart cries out for.

Musings

I don't really know what I want to write right now, but I figured that writing is better than not writing. I've been thinking about a lot lately, especially the passage of time. A weird thing to ponder I know, and I should probably find better things to do with the time I have right now rather than looking back one things that have been, and never again will be. But life is funny like that, it seems like there are a million things that tear us away from where we are right now, in the instant. Plans for the future, or frustrations from the past. But neither past, present, nor the future have ever really been in our grasp.
We've just built cute little towers of illusory controls out of our jobs and our hobbies. Trinkets to distract our hands from rending our garments. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we should rend our garments....we'd have to buy new clothes if we did. Keep the trinkets, they're God given in a sense. Like the stories that parents tell their children to distract them from the monster that they believe is under the bed. They talk just long enough for the child to fall asleep. Grace is a lot aspirin, helping us to deal with the worst of ourselves while we wait for that sweet day when even grace and faith pass away into knowledge, or at least take on new meaning. That brilliant morning when all the preaching and evangelism, all the pain and the confusion simply stop. Then, the trinkets will become something different, something animated and real. Like hopes that put on flesh to walk with us as friends, and talk of the beauty that they have been allowed to convey in this life.

Remember The Coming Return